Lumos!

you are what you love, not who loves you

Why I get a crush on someone pretty much boils down to whether or not that person gives me attention. It’s sad, but true.

I need time to stop before I turn 25.
Anxiety levels are at an all time high.

Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand

—― Hayley Williams (via psych-quotes)

(via psych-quotes)

6th Grade Girl

I don’t like to dress up when I go to dinner
And wearing bras makes me feel too constricted
Putting on make up hurts my eyes
And I can’t see the world outside when my contacts blur up
So what’s the point of trying to look pretty
When I’m just hiding myself behind all the foundation
Maybe I wanna buy boots and you want to wear high heels
Can you let me make decisions based on my brain and not
The media?

Will I ever be free to be myself
WIll I ever be free to be myself

You take shots of whiskey and I like my espresso
And with the money you spend on purses I could get to London
I’ll never be sophisticated, that I know for sure
Because who I was in 6th grade is who I am today
Just this girl with glasses and frizzy hair
I think life is a mystery
it’s ugly and it’s beautiful
and Facebook is not to blame for all the
distance and apathy

will I ever find my place
will I ever find my place

this song’s really honest
and it’ll freak people out
that someone can admit that life is hard
and Instagram can’t color up my life
just like Tumblr can’t fix what’s inside
this depression will be with me until I die
but it won’t be by own hand this time
I like being vulnerable, I’ll tell you what I think
because I want to connect with everything

take me to a starry sky, yeah
take me on a drive
that’ll be my place, that’ll be my place
where I can be myself, where I will be myself
free to be myself

If I don’t set aside time for writing songs I go insane,
the stuff that’s left unsaid just turns to static in my brain,
It’s hard to get things done when my head is full of craziness
it’s when I am the busiest that I seem the laziest.

—Kimya Dawson

The United States of America on college education

  • Student: I'm not going to go to college because I don't want to go into debt.
  • USA: YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT. YOU'RE GOING TO AMOUNT TO NOTHING YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG. YOU'RE THE REASON WHY MY TAXES ARE SO HIGH.
  • Student: I'm just going to attend a small community college instead.
  • USA: HAHAHA YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO GET INTO A GOOD UNIVERSITY. ENJOY YOUR MCDONALD'S DIPLOMA.
  • Student: I attended a four year university and received a diploma in a field I am interested in. Now I am $50,000+ in debt.
  • USA: YOU DUMBASS. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO TO COLLEGE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU COULDN'T AFFORD IT? YOU DIDN'T EVEN CHOOSE A USEFUL MAJOR EITHER. GOD PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE ME SICK.

Depression Blanket

Sometimes the loneliness intensifies so much that a chasm opens up.
I’m so filled up with emptiness that I think I’ll explode.
The only emotion I have room for is anger, that’s it.
That’s the only time I can feel anything.
It’s been so long since I have felt love that when someone says nice things to me, I now expect them to be lies.
Which they usually are.
I get lies that make me feel warm for a night and a text the next morning that apologizes for how drunk the person that lied was and he they didn’t mean any of the nice things.
I get filled up and then it gets taken away again.
There’s a blanket of exhaustion over me, keeping me in bed for so long that I think my muscles will stop working.
And I have no one to call, no one to message, no one to see, because there is no person loving me enough to want to understand me.
I am starting to feel certain that there is no way out for me.
I continue to be used just as I was when I was 20 years old, and there is really only so much a person I can stand.
My knees have buckled. People aren’t the answer anymore.
All I want is a knife.

It’s the hospital," she said, scanning the cafeteria. "This always
happens when people aren’t used to the place. The smells, the sounds, the stale air, patients’ faces, stress, irritation, disappointment, pain, fatigue - that’s what does it. It grabs you in the stomach and kills your appetite. Once you get used to it, though, it’s no problem at all.

—Norwegian Wood, Murakami

Untruths

I continue to ignore the lies,
Even though I know them well,
Know their curves and adoration, 
That sweet smell of promise laced with disappointment
Because you’d never come through
Not for me, and not for them
I am not stupid, deaf, dumb—enough 
I am not the one specially treated badly, unfairly
You’ll push as far as you can with them all,
Taking, until you can’t fit anymore
And then retreat to place of quiet
Trying to justify and rationalize and understand
Why it’s just you and the scattered messages of
"I love you."
"Move back home and I will marry you."
"Come live with me."
Telling me the untruths that have no place to go,
The wind carries them away, 
But engraved, they become, ingrained
On my skull, giving the worst sort of hope, the hope that dies in waiting
Too bad, too
So much potential, I had
Living in the past, only twenty-four
But years of regret

asylum-art:

Classic paintings with a Modern Twist // ‘Art x Smart’ series by Kim Dong-kyu

Artist on Tumblr|Facebook

In his recent project ‘Art x Smart’, Korean illustrator Kim Dong-Kyu combines famous historical paintings with images of 21st century technology. I call it a fusion of the modern day with classical moments from art and history, resulting in one massive head f… I mean head spin. And I like it. The works are also a piercing comment on the way smartphones have dramatically changed today’s social interaction. Apart from being absurdly funny, the series also draw attention to our relationship with new technologies and their influence on modern society.

Some of these images are pretty ridiculous but it seems so familiar these days – the swiping, scrolling, grammin’ (that’s Instagramming for all you “non-users”), and regular selfies find their way into paintings by Vermeer, Picasso, Manet and Van Gogh – as if the action was of second nature to them, like it is for us.

1. ‘Her Mirror,’ 2013 after ‘Rokeby Venus’ by Diego Velázquez, 1647–51.

2.. When you see the amazing sight,’ 2013 / after ‘Wanderer above the sea of fog’ by Caspar David Friedrich, 1818.

3.. ‘Always in my hand,’ 2013 / after ‘in the conservatory’ by Édouard Manet, 1878-9.4.

4. Girl with a pearl earring and an iPhone,’ 2013 / after ‘Girl with a pearl earring’ by Johannes Vermeer, 1665.

5. ‘Luncheon,’ 2013 / after ‘The luncheon on the grass’ by Édouard Manet, 1862–1863.

6. The Scream,’ 2013 / after ‘The Scream’ by Edvard Munch, 1893.

7.‘Music for dreaming’ after ‘the dream’ by pablo picasso, 1932

8. In a cafe’ after ‘l’absinthe‘ by  edgar degas, 1876

9. ‘A family gathering’ after ‘the balcony’ by édouard manet, 1868 

10. ‘The Last 2G Phone User,’ 2013 / after ‘The Last Supper’ by  Leonardo Da Vinci, 1495-98.

(via razato)